Welcome to October, Bitches

Time marches on, and we have arrived in October already. The world keeps turning, Pete Doherty is detained in another drug raid, Lindsay Lohan will appear "nude" on the cover of Esquire or GQ (no discernable difference and no chance of a beaver shot anyway), yadda, yadda, yadda.

Aside from being the coolest month, thanks largely to turning leaves and the whole ghouls 'n' goblins vibe, October is also...

Halloween Safety Month (like Halloween Safety Month was going to be in fucking June?), National Celiac Awareness Month, Healthy Lung Month, Domestic Violence Awareness Month, National Family Sexuality Education Month(???), National Disability Employment Awareness Month, National Popcorn Popping Month, Adopt-A-Dog Month, Computer Learning Month, National Apple Jack Month, National Car Care Month, National Clock Month, National Cosmetology Month, National Dessert Month, National Pickled Pepper Month, National Pretzel Month, National Sarcastics Month, National Seafood Month, National Kitchen and Bath Month, Vegetarian Awareness Month, Alternate History Month(???), Animals Aloud! Month, Billiard Awareness Month, Celebrate Sun Dried Tomatoes Month, Children's Magazine Month, Diversity Awareness Month, Eat Better, Eat Together Month, Emotional Wellness Month, Lesbian History Month, Go Hog Wild! Eat Country Ham Month, Head Start Awareness Month, Health Literacy Month, International Starman Month (I swear to god!), International Strategic Planning Month, Lupus Awareness Month, National Book Month, National Chili Month, National Communicate With Your Kids Month, National Construction Toy Month, National Cookie Month, National Crime Prevention Month, National Depression Education & Awareness Month, National Disability Employment Awareness Month, National Down Syndrome Month, National "Gain The Inside Advantage" Month (Uh, what?), National Go On A Field Trip Month, National Liver Awareness Month, National Long Term Care Planning Month, National Medical Librarian Month, National Orthodontic Health Month, National Physical Therapy Month, National Pork Month, National Reading Group Month, National Roller Skating Month (Go see Roll, Bounce, people!), National Seafood Month, National Spina Bifida Awareness Month, National Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Awareness Month, National Toilet Tank Repair Month, Discover America Month, Polish American Heritage Month, Positive Attitude Month, Rett Syndrome Awareness Month, Right Brainers Rule! Month, Self-Promotion Month, Spinach Lovers Month, Talk About Prescriptions Month, Women's Small Business Month, Workplace Politics Month, and National Physical Therapy Month.

*WHEW!* Jesus christ! That's a whole lotta month.